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Bob and Pete were a couple of drinking mates who worked as aircraft mechanics in Melbourne. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do….
Bob said, “Mate, I wish we had something to drink!”
Pete says, “Me too. Y’know, I’ve heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You want to try it?”
So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and get completely smashed. The next morning Bob wakes up and is surprised at how good he
feels. In fact he feels GREAT!!! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing! Then the phone rings. It’s Pete, who says,
“Hey, how do you feel this morning?”
Bob says, “I feel great, how about you?”
Pete says, “I feel great, too. You don’t have a hangover?”
Bob says, “No that jet fuel is great stuff – no hangover, nothing.
We ought to do this more often.
“Yeah, well there’s just one thing.”
“What’s that?” “Have you farted yet?”
“Well DON’T, ‘cause I’m in Perth.”


A smart - alec rookie pilot, fresh out of training, was on his first solo approach to the airstrip during a night time landing, and thought he'd try to be cool and amusing in his contact with the tower.

Instead of making the standard official call, he said  "GUESS WHO?"

The air traffic controller switched the field lights off and replied "GUESS WHERE?!!"


3 RC helicopter pilots at a fun-fly where using the restroom taking a piss, one nitro, one gasser, and one electric.

The nitro pilot finishes and walks over to the sink to wash his hands. He then proceeds to dry his hands very carefully. He uses paper towel after paper towel and ensures that every single spot of water on his hands is dried. Turning to the other two, he says, "We nitro pilots are extremely thorough."

The gasser pilot finishes his task at the urinal and he proceeds to wash his hands. He uses a single paper towel and makes sure that he dries his hands using every available portion of the paper towel. He turns and says, "We gasser pilots are not only trained to be extremely thorough but we are also extremely efficient."

The electric pilot finished and walks straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder: "We electric pilots don't piss all over our hands."




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